Pets
  • If I have any beliefs about immortality it is that certain dogs I know will go to heaven, and very very few people. — James Thurber

  • If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater, suggest that he wear a tail. — Frances Ann Lebowitz

  • If you have a deep-seated need to be loved and admired every day, you shouldn't be in politics. You should go work at a pet store. — Michael Nutter

  • It is amazing how much love and laughter they bring into our lives and even how much closer we become with each other because of them. — John Grogan

  • It may be a cat, a bird, a ferret, or a guinea pig, but the chances are high that when someone close to you dies, a pet will be there to pick up the slack. Pets devour the loneliness. They give us purpose, responsibility, a reason for getting up in the morning, and a reason to look to the future. They ground us, help us escape the grief, make us laugh, and take full advantage of our weakness by exploiting our furniture, our beds, and our refrigerator. We wouldn't have it any other way. Pets are our seat belts on the emotional roller coaster of life—they can be trusted, they keep us safe, and they sure do smooth out the ride. — Nick Trout

  • It often happens that a man is more humanely related to a cat or dog than to any human being. — Henry David Thoreau

  • Many who have spent a lifetime in it can tell us less of love than the child that lost a dog yesterday. — Thornton Wilder

  • Money can buy you a fine dog, but only love can make him wag his tail. — Kinky Friedman

  • Most pets display so many humanlike traits and emotions it's easy to forget they're not gifted with the English language and then get snubbed when we talk to them and they don't say anything back. — Stephenie Geist

  • New Rule: If you're one of the one-in-three married women who say your pet is a better listener than your husband, you talk too much. And I have some bad news for you: Your dog's not listening, either; he's waiting for food to fall out of your mouth. — Bill Maher

  • New Rule: Stop leaving couches on the sidewalk. Besides being lazy and ugly, it's animal cruelty. You teach your dog not to pee on the couch, and then when you take him to the place he's supposed to pee, there's a couch. — Bill Maher

  • No matter how close we are to another person, few human relationships are as free from strife, disagreement, and frustration as is the relationship you have with a good dog. Few human beings give of themselves to another as a dog gives of itself. I also suspect that we cherish dogs because their unblemished souls make us wish - consciously or unconsciously - that we were as innocent as they are, and make us yearn for a place where innocence is universal and where the meanness, the betrayals, and the cruelties of this world are unknown. — Dean Koontz 

  • No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as the dog does. — Christopher Morley

  • Old age means realizing you will never own all the dogs you wanted to. — Joe Gores

  • Our perfect companions never have fewer than four feet. — Colette